You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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