do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
