people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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