Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
