I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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