I feel like abortions should bother me more
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
