i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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