Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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