Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
