he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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