I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
