Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
