I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize