Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
