fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Tell her she can't have a vagina
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Randomize
