fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
