too bad you live with your parents still
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize