He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize