Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
