Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
