he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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