The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We need to rekindle our bromance
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
