the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
as a side note pls kill me
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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