So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize