In the future we'll all be gay
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
