Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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