He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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