I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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