...so i touched it.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
