Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
