It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
now i know why i became what i already was.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
