dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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