he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
