Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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