I don't usually arrange sex via text message
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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