Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
