Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think your dad took our porno
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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