All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
