last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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