yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize