fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize