so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
