It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
