I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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