zippers are such a cool invention
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
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