Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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