I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
