I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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