First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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