Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
