i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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