Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
