The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
