So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
