so explain again why im purple
no
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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