i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
my poor anus
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
