It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
