So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
