I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize