there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My vagina is very pro this idea
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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