I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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