Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
