i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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