I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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