Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
