I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
