Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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