Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
