You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
