She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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